Sleep

I can't believe how productive I've been this morning. Babies fed, Lily's room clean and all her laundry put away, two more loads of laundry in the washer and dryer, our clothes all put away, the kitchen clean, dishes humming away in the dishwasher. To what do I owe this burst of energy? I am positive it is all due to a tiny little boy who let me sleep all night!! Ah, uninterrupted sleep! I think it was his two-month birthday present to Mommy. I seriously feel more rested than I have in a really long time.

So, I have nine minutes until Susan shows up to watch Lily while I take Jack to the doctor for his checkup. It is very foggy and POURING rain; wouldn't you know? I don't think we've had rain in a month. Oh well. We need it! It is very cozy. I wish I could just stay in my nice, cozy house. But, at least the doctor's parking is covered! That's a good thing.

And it's October.

All of a sudden. The leaves are beginning to change, and the weather has cooled off to the 70s, making for near-perfect days. I have one baby sleeping in her crib and the other dozing in his car seat in anticipation of leaving for the park as soon as Lily wakes up. The house is very quiet.

I have finished an eight-page article on the spiritual disciplines which I'm thinking of submitting to Modern Reformation. Joel read it and made some good comments, and I've emailed it to my friend Lynne for further input. It doesn't really fit with the upcoming themes for Modern Ref, but maybe it will at some point. It meets the word limit (3000 words) if you don't include the footnotes; with them, it exceeds it. Anyway, it was a good outlet for me to think through some ideas that I've been mulling over, so it was a worthwhile exercise.

Elmo....

...is entertaining my daughter. And I just put Jack down for a brief pre-church nap. So, a moment to reflect. I feel tired, but the house is somewhat put together and I've had a good day with Lily and Jack, including a short trip to a local playground and a visit this afternoon with my friend Liza. We left the park when it was inundated with about forty elementary school students on a field trip, but we'll be back. It's about five minutes from our house (driving) on the Tennessee side and has a fabulous playground. We'll be back. I am glad to know of a nearby place we can play besides Fairyland playground now that school is back in session.

Quiet...

...and we'll see how long it lasts. Lily's toward the end of a nap, and if little boy makes it til five before waking wanting to eat, I'll be surprised. But I will take advantage of a couple of quiet moments to reflect here.

It has been two and a half weeks since Jack was born, and almost two weeks since we came home from the hospital. All in all, I think things are going well. Having my mom here has been an indispensable help. She's done a lot with Lily, from taking her out mid-day on little runs to the store to lifting her for me since I'm not supposed to yet. She is also a one-woman army when it comes to helping me get projects done around the house. She has helped me get so many things done! Pretty amazing. I am also feeling like I'm getting very spoiled with all of her help...she's allowed me to get a lot of rest and to stay off my feet a good deal. I'm feeling better each day, though it's still painful if I do too much, which sometimes makes me wary. Life is returning to normal, and I am starting to see the light of a routine at the end of the tunnel.

Evenings are particularly good. Lily usually naps until 4:30 or 5:00, and then we play, then have maybe one Baby Einstein, then dinner, bath, story, and bedtime. It is feeling comfortable. In the midst of it, I usually feed baby Jack, he hangs out and has some "awake time," and then he takes a little hap. Routines are the key to sanity for me. I need to work out a few more during the day, and once my mom leaves, I'm going to have to find alternatives to going out every day with Lily. We usually run an errand or have a playtime with someone just to get out of the house between her morning and afternoon naps, but I don't know if I'll be able to do that with two. I've been thinking of seeing if some friends want to set up a couple of playdates. Lily has so much more fun if there are other people around; who can blame her! Right now I'm trying to establish Jack's routine, but once I do, he'll be a bit more flexible. I just have to take it one day at a time.

I'm enjoying the rainy weather today, and amazed at how fallish it is. Last August we had a terrible drought and it was very hot, but this year it's been pretty mild. We have had a tremendous amount of rain in the last day--maybe eight inches--and the tree out front dropped an October amount of red and orange leaves. It looks like fall came to our front yard--but the weird thing is that we're the only ones. A branch may have turned here or there, but our maple is the only one that decided it was fall! I think the poor tree is just stressed from the lack of rain all summer, and then the sudden change in weather may have tricked it into thinking it's October. We have a pile of leaves covering the front lawn. Oh well; fall's my favorite season here anyway.

So pleasant...

We had such a lovely evening tonight. Joel got Lily in her jammies while Jack and I hung out with Grandma Brown, and when she came back she had learned to give the sweetest little hugs, complete with pats on the back. What a darling. She is settling in after the upheaval of having us gone so long, and it's good to have my Lily back. Jack is a sweetie and an easy baby, sleeping a lot and sometimes watching us with bright dark eyes. He loves his milk and likes being patted firmly on the back when he's fussy. He also loves being swaddled, unlike his big sister--but they are similar in needing to have their hands free to suck on and having little use for a pacifier. Jack will take one occasionally, but doesn't seem to need it much. Mom is so dear and so helpful...took Lily on a little outing to Target so I could get extra rest, and is making some dinner as we speak. I really appreciate having her here. It makes everything seem less overwhelming, especially taking care of Lily. It's hard on me that I can't pick her up...it breaks my heart when she comes to me with her little arms up. Thankfully, I can when I'm sitting down and I don't think I'm hurting anything. I'll talk with my doctor about it when I go in tomorrow. I've picked her up a couple of times; sometimes, you just have to!

We're looking forward to having the Treicks over tomorrow night for a low-key dinner. A dear friend has provided some lasagna, and Mom T is bringing the slush. Should be a lovely time.

Almost there...

Jack is moving--slowly--and I am thinking about the fact that soon I'll be holding him. I can't wait to meet this new little one. Just hours now! His little room is ready for him, and everything is set for tomorrow. Okay, except packing, but based on my experience last time, that doesn't take too long. Mom and Lily are heading over for dinner with Omi and Papa while Joel and I have a last little date. We went out to dinner the night before Lily was born, and thought we would do the same thing. I remember being at Outback in Fallbrook, and when the waitress asked when the baby was coming, being able to say, tomorrow morning at 7:30! Crazy.

I am glad that Jack did not come early. Even at this point, the timing would be fine. Mom is here to help with Lily, along with Omi and Papa, everyone is off work, and we are ready for the big day. It's kind of relaxing. I don't even have to be at the hospital until 9:45, and I anticipate being awake far earlier than that. I trust the Lord for a healthy delivery for our little one, and am so grateful that Joel and Jack will be with me the whole time. I wish dad could be here, but I'm just thankful he'll be here soon. What an amazing month of visits and fun and celebration and recovery and exhaustion and quiet lies ahead. I pray the Lord will be glorified in all of it.

A quiet evening

Joel had session meeting tonight and is spending time with one of the elders afterward, so I have some time by myself. Lily's in bed, the rumbling thunder outside has not yet given way to rain, the fan is keeping me cool, and everything feels quiet. I have appreciated the Bible readings that come to my inbox each day, though sometimes I get behind; but tonight I read from Isaiah and began 2 Corinthians, and it was good to feel like I had a quiet space in which to do it.

One thing that stood out to me was the fact that in Isaiah 54 God promises many things to His people, and I was reflecting on the fact that some of them will only find their fulfillment at the end of the story. But then in 2 Corinthians 1:20-22, it says:

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

So really, even the promises that still seem far off are ultimately fulfilled in Christ Himself. This is a profound thought, and I think it drives home the fact that the peace and hope that fills Isaiah 54 is most explicitly pointing toward Christ. So in some way, I can expect a taste of that now as I know Christ.

Food for thought on my quiet evening.

Time flies...

My last post was June 30, which says a lot about the month of July. I think it may be this feeling of impending I'm-never-going-to-be-able-to-leave-the-house-again with two kids; in any case, this has been an unusually busy month. The fact that I feel as big as a house--and not just a regular house, but maybe one featured on Extreme Makeover Home Edition--has not stopped me thus far, though I am definitely slowing down. Only one fun event scheduled for today, and very little this weekend, so that's good. I think I will be doing a lot of lying on my left side.

It's raining outside, which is a very good thing for three reasons: 1) our lawn and all the other green things are desperately thirsty; 2) it's cozy; and 3) it cools things off. Obviously, #1 is very important, but I'll admit that #3 is at the top of my list right now. Feeling very thankful for rain.

Paula

What is it about Paula Deen? I love that lady. I am sitting down for a moment in between ironing shirts...with Jack kicking and how tight my tummy is, I can only do a couple before I need to sit for a minute. Paula is inspiring me as I iron. I don't know if it's her reckless use of butter and mayonnaise or the way her grown sons come through and help her and relish her finished products, but I love that show. I tivo it and sometimes watch a few moments while Lily and I play after breakfast, but today I'm enjoying Paula's version of macaroni salad while ironing shirts. Six down, seven or eight to go. I decided I just want to iron all of it so I don't have to do them one by one. It's easier. Oh, and I need to go throw the next load of laundry in. Bless Lily for sleeping a bit this morning so I can get some chores done. :)

Tuesday afternoon

I have been fairly productive today, and with Lily down for an afternoon nap am enjoying some time to just sit. My Walmart fan is buzzing away like the propeller on an airplane and it's keeping me cool. It's actually cooler today, and the forecast calls for thunderstorms every day this week. They bring welcome relief from the heat, which was about 100 yesterday.

Joel moved the crazy rope ladder from its regular position (blocking the basement stairs) up into the ceiling, where it will no longer attack me every time I go down to do the laundry. It's amazing what a difference a little thing like that can make. It feels like a luxury at this point!

I moved some winter clothes into two storage boxes and ran out of room. I need to come up with a different solution. More space-saver bags might work, though I think getting rid of a ton of stuff is probably smarter. I just don't want to have to re-buy anything when the seasons change. But, there's a bunch of stuff I never wore this past winter. Hmm. Every project takes four other layers of organization and work. But, I am making progress, slowly but surely.

Lily and I stopped by the church today and played with Jackie for quite a while. Lily loves tearing down the halls, running up and down, and playing with the toys in Jackie's office. Joel was able to come out for a few minutes, too, and Lily loved running to Daddy. She was acting a little shy at first, but soon was off on her own adventures. By the time we got home it was almost three, and she was ready for a nap.

Which is why I have some time at this moment. Mmmmm.

Amusing Ourselves to Death

I feel a particular irony in my natural inclination to blog about the book I just finished reading, Neil Postman's Amusing Ourselves to Death. Postman wrote the book twenty years ago in an age where email and the Internet were in their infancy from a modern perspective. I have been fairly technologically aware since age 10 or so; early computers were a hobby I shared with my dad, and I still remember writing programs in BASIC that changed the color of my TV monitor different colors. That was the mid-eighties. Postman wrote when my email address was a string of numbers, and about a decade before Windows became accessible to most of us on our PCs. For me, technology was a window to the world. I had a pen-pal in Peru whom I had met over the Internet.

To Postman, technology was not simply a means by which I interacted with the world, but shaped how I understood the world. Technology is bound up with ideology; ideas underlie every aspect of technological development. Ultimately, Postman argues that "Our media are our metaphors. Our metaphors create the content of our culture." (15) In other words, our understanding of the world is shaped--or perhaps even controlled or organized, to use Postman's words--by media. He is not talking about "the media" in terms of the paparazzi, but primarily about television. His lament is that the last half-century has seen a fundamental shift in our culture from the Age of Typography (characterized by the print media) to the Age of Television. One wonders what he would make of the ubiquity of computers and the Internet...though one also sees the way that these media are shaped in many ways by a television culture.

Postman's ultimate concern is that we do not know when we are being entertained. He is not worried about Cheers, he notes; 60 Minutes or the evening news are far more dangerous. The reason? People think these are educational. Go ahead, be entertained by television--that is relatively harmless, he seems to say. But beware Sesame Street and any other programming that presents itself as educational. The reason? It merely prepares children and adults to swallow the content of such shows without thinking critically about the biases and effects that the media itself has. It assumes that such a format is neutral. He suggests that it is imperative that school children be taught "to inquire into the ways in which media of all kinds--including television--shape people's attitudes and perceptions." (153) In other words, we must be educated in how to think critically about the message that the media is offering, which has nothing to do with the actual content.

I find this useful. How does the "And now...this" world of the nightly news shape my understanding not only of the world, but my ability to act in it? I receive far more information than I can possibly act upon. I might hear of the earthquake in China, the latest on the 2008 election (probably focusing on some controversial statement that a supporter of one of the candidates made that has little to do with the issues or candidates themselves), followed by some weather and the latest news from the local basketball team. How does this teach me to consider issues in depth? To think critically about the realities facing our world? To help others? I think at its best the news prompts me to pray, but even my prayer seems shallow...one arrow-prayer offered up on behalf of someone struck by tragedy, without further thought. The bottom line is that the nightly news may inform me of things that are happening, but in the process it cannot help but trivialize it all.

Postman argues for a distancing from our forms of information. (163) I wonder to what extent that has happened. There are now, it seems to me, far more forms of information readily accessible than there were when he wrote this book, but the principle is the same. Do I think critically, or do I allow the content of television shows--especially those claiming to be informative or educational--to wash over me? Joel made a point in his sermon last week that we as Christian people should only surf if it involves the ocean and a surfboard. We shouldn't allow ourselves to mindlessly surf channels or the internet, but to actively engage the world around us, thinking critically. These principles are bound together. Where is the information coming from? What primary sources are available? What is the agenda of the media itself? What impact does the form in which the content is presented shape my understanding of the issues or subject being explored? And, on a more basic level, am I turning to electronic media for comfort? For entertainment? Out of boredom?

I want to raise children who are aware the the forms that various media take are not neutral. I want Lily and Jack to think critically. That must start with me.

Time flies...

...and we certainly have been having fun. It's hard to believe it's already Tuesday, but I am glad that we still have a few days to go and some fun things planned before we leave. Mostly it has been really good to just relax. I feel like Jack is getting bigger by the day, and it is such a relief to have help with Lily; I'm going to have to get creative when we get home.

Jack seemed to spend most of dinner tonight trying to fit his feet under my ribs. I got to this point with Lily, too; the distinct feeling she was trying to escape out my side. It's hard to believe we have two months to go.

Yesterday was fairly productive. I went through a box of photos that had been in Grandma's various albums or frames and sorted them according to which sister was in them. I came away with a good pile of family photos. Since virtually everything I do these days is digital, it kind of got me thinking that it might be good to start a little photo album. Then I cleared out three boxes of that were in the garage. One had lots of books that are now on their way to Goodwill, but the rest contained readers and notebooks from college and seminary. I think that each time I went through those boxes in the past, I saw myself as a scholar and those as research and wanted to hold on to the work they represented. But this time I tossed almost all of it. What did I save? Well, a couple of notebooks outlining my studies in church history and medieval history. A couple of textbooks that Joel may find useful. And, of course, most of my writing. I found papers and remembered writing them, research that somehow seems worth keeping. I have realized that old notes outlining histories and literature are not useful; I will need to revisit those writings anyway if I ever return to studies or the classroom. But my own writing and reflection is something else; these pieces are part of the development of my own thoughts, and I'm not willing to part with them yet.

Sunny Saturday

It's hard to believe that we've been here a week already! We are having such a good time with family and friends, and soaking up the beautiful Santa Barbara weather. As I write, Lily is napping and I can hear the splashing fountain outside; very tranquil. After Lily wakes up we are planning a trip to the Santa Barbara zoo, which will no doubt become a cherished memory. I think Grandpa is the most excited of all. Lily was her bubbly self this morning and helped Grandpa with chores after breakfast. I love seeing them together.

Last night, Joel and I went to see Prince Caspian. We both really enjoyed it. There are many moments in the film that are beautiful and satisfying. Interesting imagery of the Holy Spirit and of baptism (both as judgement and salvation), too. I especially liked the trees and, of course, the scenes with Lucy and Aslan. What a great evening.

I'm currently reading Neil Postman's Amusing Ourselves to Death, which came out 20 years ago but is probably more relevant than when it was first written. One of his main points (borrowed from another author) is that the media is the message. Were it not for the entertainment-influenced (driven?) nightly news, there would be no such thing as the news of the day. And certainly we are well aware of the way that 24-hour news outlets have transformed what is significant to us in major ways. I have no doubt that this year's election is being decided in large part by the media, as is public opinion on many issues. How many of us seek out primary source material and thing critically about the issues? Even the interviews and topics of discussion are crafted for the media; the media has shaped the message. He argues that television is at its best when it merely seeks to entertain, and at its most dangerous when it promotes itself as the distributor of truth. Fascinating points, and I'm only on chapter three. I am fairly certain I read this book about a decade ago, but it's well worth reading again.

Love One Another

I am reflecting on Jaimeson's sermon from Sunday in conjunction with a book I am reading: Andi Ashworth's Real Love for Real Life. Both are concerned with the topic of showing love toward others, and nurturing others with the type of abiding-in-Christ love that Jesus talks about in John 15. Andi's book is very helpful and encouraging, focusing not only on showing love within the home but offering hospitality and caring for others. She notes that there is no question of "Who is my neighbor," but only "To whom will I be a neighbor?" That's a helpful distinction. That might be as simple as showing kindness to a stranger, to walking step-by-step with a friend through a difficult time or illness. It might be making sure that home is a place where I intentionally show love toward those who live there. It might involve making some extra food in the crock pot and encouraging Joel to bring home some hungry college students or others to whom he is ministering. It is all about looking for opportunities to bring beauty and care into the lives of others.

Sunday's sermon focused on John 15:12-17, and more specifically the point that since we are, as Christians, branches of the vine of Christ, we are to go and bear His fruit in the world. This involves embodying the love of Christ in the lives of others. He both demonstrates this self-emptying love and empowers us to show this love. That's important, because it's not a work we are commanded to try to do on our own. We are to be the conduit of the love of Christ to others. Otherwise we face burnout. We are commanded to love, but as a branch on the vine--extending the nourishing love of Christ to those around us, having that love flow through us.

Jesus says that we are God's friends (beloved) if we obey; being a branch is being the beloved, and vice-versa. We can't divorce our responsibility as branches from our love for Christ. They are one and the same. I remember that Martin Luther once said of faith and works that you cannot separate them any more than you could separate heat and light from fire. The same is true of this concept; if we love, we obey. Obedience is part of our identity. And as we revell in the love of Christ, we are filled with joy in extending this love to others.

My calling as a Christian is, above all, to bear fruit that will last. That may sound rather nebulous, but it is also clear in its implications: I am to abide in Christ, to preach the gospel to myself and hear it in His Word, to pray, to seek Him, and to see the fruit come. Out of this continual flow of grace I minister to others with the grace I am given. This fruit isn't mine; it's His, and that's important.

It's not about running on empty. Sabbath is an inherent part of God's design. That means that during Lily's nap time when I have a few moments of peace, I need to spend time in things that feed that love. That might include a nap and other physical refreshing. It might include a good conversation with a friend. Jaimeson suggested that we grow in this love when we dwell on the Trinity as an eternal fellowship of self-emptying love: there we see the pattern of emptying ourselves and being filled. The amazing thing is that it is Christ Himself who fills us by His Spirit and gives us something to pour out; without Him in the first place, we have nothing to offer.

In conclusion, Jaimeson encouraged us to be intentional about creating locations of grace in which we can missionally love others that they might see Christ. That might mean opening my home for a Bible study, having folks over for dinner, scheduling a play-date with another mom and her kids...there are all kinds of ways to show love toward others. It may be as simple as taking Lily for a nap when she's fussy, knowing that she will enjoy it.

One of the things that Andi makes clear in her book is that hospitality doesn't have to be perfect or complicated to minister to others. I appreciate that. Maybe there are toys on the floor and dinner is very simple; I can still include others in our home life and welcome them. I want my life to be an expression of the love of Christ, where that love is shown in many practical and meaningful ways. And in all of this, I need to keep in mind that it is a simple matter of walking in the good works that the Lord has prepared in advance for me to do: it's not up to me to do every good work on earth that needs doing, but to rest in the Lord and to be faithful as these opportunities to love other come along.

Safely Arrived

We have safely arrived in California, and are very glad to be here. We had some rough moments on the plane with a Lilybug who barely slept the entire day, but now we're here, and in these quiet early moments it is all very worth it. She is still sleeping in the other room, as are my parents; Joel and I were up a little before six, which is nearly nine our time. I love feeling rested and waking up before Lily.

Today we will be off to Christ Presbyterian, and we're looking forward to seeing all the dear folks who have become our friends there. Then we may go to the I Madonnari festival down at the mission and take in the extraordinary chalk paintings. Kristi invited us to dinner with Robbie and Megan, and we may join them. I'm looking forward to time catching up with old friends and relaxing.

Lily was in her element as we sat in the backyard yesterday afternoon. She explored every inch, playing with the toys that mom's friends have loaned her. She banged on the drum and carried it around like it was a purse, explored the grass and plants and grill, knocked on the door, and gave us a running commentary about her adventures. She charmed her grandparents and we had a big ole time.

Getting ready....Friday

The suitcases have been lugged upstairs, the laundry is churning away in the basement, and we are on the brink of our trip to Santa Barbara. A lot needs to happen in a little time, but we'll get there. I found out that Southwest allows two bags per person plus a small carry-on plus another personal item, so I think we'll be fine. I plan to ditch the usual diaper bag and bring Lily's darling duffel bag on the plane, which will be easy to fill with her food and toys and diapers. I talked with the airline yesterday and there were still seats available, so I'm hoping we can spread out a little and that people will avoid the row with the baby. :) Could happen. That was Liz' suggestion, and I think it's brilliant. I don't know if baby girl will sleep at all on the plane, but hopefully we can keep her entertained for those four hours. The car is generally less stressful, and hopefully will be on this trip, too.

Well, Lily's doing her part by taking a little nap, so I'm going to go and try to get a few things done. California, here we come!

California Experience Day

Yesterday Joel and I felt like we were back in California, all thanks to the power of chain stores. He had a day off, so we went down to IKEA in Atlanta. We are attempting to re-work some areas of the house and provide more storage. Lily was pretty patient as we wandered the acres of showrooms, munching on piles of Cheerios and other snacks. She ran around quite a bit, too. We stopped for lunch in their cafeteria after sensing a near-meltdown in the Closet Organizer section, and resumed our shopping afterward. Lily and Daddy played in the children's department, where Lily discovered a giant hedgehog chair that was perfect for running up to and jumping on, as well as lots of other things to play with. We finished up our shopping and headed home, with a scheduled stop in the town of Marrietta. We discovered that Marrietta is possibly the best shopping area East of the Mississippi. Why? Trader Joe's AND TCBY. Wooo hooo!!! We stopped and stocked up on some favorites at TJ's, which we have missed since moving from California. And then, frozen yogurt. Mmmmmmm. I suspect that any future trips to Atlanta, IKEA, or anywhere else down the 75 will incorporate a trip to beautiful Marrietta.

Today is a beautiful day, and we are going to work on packing for our trip, straightening up, and maybe putting some of our IKEA finds together. I'm sure the sunshine will also call us outside for a nice walk.

Monday

I think I can thank the Fitzpatricks for my burst of productivity this evening. Yesterday at church, they gave me a box of lily bulbs, which inspired me to buy a container and potting soil at Walmart today. While I was at it, I bought three large plastic containers for sorting Lily's baby clothes. I have been meaning to take the towering stack of boxes in the basement and consolidate them into a better home. So, this afternoon Lily and I spent a few moments sweeping the back deck (she clearly needs her own broom) and planting the bulbs. As I did, I discovered that each little packet contained two or three bulbs...I need more containers! I think Lily and I will take another little trip to Walmart tomorrow and pick up a couple more. I can't wait to see these lilies in bloom...they sound gorgeous from the descriptions. Some are deep red asiatic lilies, others pink, some yellow and orange. I hope they have a fragrance; I don't think they're day lilies, so they should. I watered them and am hoping for the best, since I feel like I have a black thumb sometimes. I'm going to enlist Mom T to help me raise these, and especially to water them while I'm gone.

After our time outside, Lily had earthy black hands and pollen on her feet, so it was bath time. She was very interested in me running the bath, and played with her whistling hippo and Rainbow Fish book. I love seeing her little curls, and how much she loves splashing. After her bath, Lily had some dinner and played with toys, and then it was bedtime.

With Lily down and Joel at a dinner for the elders and deacons, I decided to fill those plastic containers and get some laundry done. It took about an hour, but I now have all the boxes--eight? nine?--consolidated into three: one for 0-3 month clothes, one 6-9, and one 9 and up. The first is stuffed. I can't believe how many cute outfits my tiny Lily had! As I went through them, I remembered the people who gave them to her, and seeing her in them. A few are outfits I plan to save out...her dress from Joel's graduation that Bonnie gave her, the little green outfit that Kristi gave her, her first Easter dress from Bill and Patricia. I also found the little outfit that Mom bought when we found out we were having Lily. It hung in the walk-in in our condo for all of those months, and I was always so happy to see it! The cool thing is that it's a simple Winnie the Pooh sleeper, and it will be perfect for Jack, too. As I went through the boxes, I gathered an entire box of clothes that could be for a boy or girl. It is fun to think of little Jack wearing these tiny sleepers and onesies. I even found a few things that had been stuck away that Lily can wear right now. So, a very productive evening.

And now, a few moments to relax.

Sunday evening

The sun is just beginning to set, the birds are singing, and Lily is sleeping. It is a calm Sunday evening. Joel went to church, but I stayed home to get Lily to bed on time and to get some rest myself. She only got one nap today, so she was ready to go down a little early.

I love how green everything is again. The trees have full green leaves, and all the lawns are lush and beautiful. Our trees outside still have blossoms, but leaves, too, which is very pretty. Sitting in this little den, I am surrounded by windows framing the green trees outside, and it's very relaxing. At least it's relaxing to look out the windows. If I look down, I see toys and the remnants of dinner on Lily's tray, and think of the next chore. Oh well. I think I'll look out the window again and admire Annette's irises across the street.

The Fitzpatricks gave me an entire box of lily bulbs at church today. They have the most glorious white and stargazer lilies, and I had commented on them when we were over there. Jim had planted all he could and had many left over...lucky me! I am looking forward to getting them in the ground tomorrow.

Friday...ahhh

It has been an incredibly busy week, and it is a relief to be at Friday. Last night was my students' piano recital, which involved four young pianists playing two or three songs each...short and sweet. They all did well; I think it was the first recital for each of them. I placed my Mother's Day present--two beautiful candle holders--on either side of the piano, and they set the perfect tone. We had about fifteen guests plus the piano students and us...maybe twenty in all. They loved the evening, and the piano cake was a hit. I am proud of all of them, and will miss teaching them if I don't continue doing it next year after Jack is born.

The night before last was our fabulous rehearsal for tomorrow's conference. It was one of the best-sounding groups I have ever been part of, maybe the very best. I am really enjoying the music and the fellowship of these fellow musicians. I feel very encouraged in using my talents here, and it's all just exciting. I need to make some time today to prepare for tomorrow.

Joel has just about wrapped up his sermon; I'm proud of him for getting it done among all of the other pressures of this week. He sat for a couple of hours this morning, writing longhand at the table as he generally does. Having talked through some of the points with him, I'm looking forward to it. I love Joel's sermons.

Tonight is dinner with some friends from church, and it will be good to see them. And soon, off we go for a relaxing vacation in California. I can hardly wait to get there.

Tuesday

It's two, and I would generally be putting Lily down for her afternoon nap. But today is a weird day. Lily slept fitfully last night, lots of crying, and then slept in until 9:30. I think that is the latest she's ever slept in her life. We went for a walk in the neighborhood with Kelly and Emily, and returned home around 11. By 11:45, Lily was very ready for a nap. So, I put her down, and she was out like a light. It is 2:00 and she is still sleeping. In the meantime I had Amanda and her nine-month old Hayes over for a "playdate" lunch, which involved less playing since the tiniest hostess was fast asleep the entire time. They left a little while ago, and my girlie pie is still sleeping.

Maybe I'll take a nap, too.

Saturday

Today was a good day. The Clothesline show is going well, though we had a smaller turnout today than expected. We're hoping it will pick up tomorrow. Still, I have sold 15 packages of note cards and one unframed painting, and I am feeling encouraged about this whole process. I have gotten a lot of good feedback on my work and on the process, and it inspires me to want to try some new ones. I ran a few packages of cards over to the Bill Shores gallery, too, and have four works on display there. Also encouraging. What would encourage me the most would be to sell off my entire inventory, but that would be nothing short of miraculous.

Lily was taking a little nap when I got home, so I still got to feed her and play with her before bedtime. What a sweetheart. She played with the beads on my shirt and commented on them in her sweet Lily language. She brought me toys to admire and books to read to her. I love watching her play with her doll house and farm, and even had her cuddle me for a moment or two, which is a rare thing for my active little girl. She went down for the night without a peep; later I looked in through the door and she was still awake, sucking her thumb and holding Blankie. She is a dear little soul.

Clothesline Day

I just put Lily down for her morning nap and have a few moments to get my thoughts together before heading out into this busy day. The day involves errands centered around Clothesline tonight; more printer ink so I can print more business cards, a swing by the Sessions House to put labels by my paintings and make sure everything is good to go, and a few other things. Lily woke up in a great mood; hopefully she'll get a little more sleep this morning and be ready for a day of socializing. Lily and Joel will join me for the opening reception tonight; then they'll head home and I will catch a ride with one of the other ladies. Tomorrow is a full day, and Sunday will be, too. Hopefully everything will go well!

Wednesday

I feel like I am losing track of time. We have no Wednesday night services for a couple of months, and that usually provides the mid-point in my week. My mental to-do list helps; today is Wednesday, so I need to get to Michael's to get mats for some of my paintings, then come back and re-frame some of them and clean them all up. Tomorrow I go and hang them at Laura's. I'm inside for the show, in the studio. I'm not sure where that is, but I'm glad to be inside where I know there will be enough wall space to hang my framed pictures.

Mom brought over the newspaper article on Clothesline last night, and I am very happy with it. I expected no more than a mention, since Ann Nichols, who is the writer for the Arts page, had already filled it. They also printed one of Lauren Leutwiler's icons, and it looked good. We'll be in the Weekend section again this weekend, and also in the Pulse. I'm thankful that the phone calls paid off and we have such good press.

Rehearsal went well Monday night, and even though it's at the beginning stages, I'm excited about our upcoming recording project. The conference next weekend will be a good opportunity, too. I love working with other musicians and seeing new music come together; what a privilege!

Cinco de Mayo

Tonight I will celebrate Cinco de Mayo with my Girls' Night Out group, which is made up of a bunch of moms from Lookout. We meet once a month for dinner, and it is a lot of fun. We usually try out a new restaurant, but Ellen volunteered to have us all over for tacos and margaritas, with each of us bringing side dishes. I'm looking forward to the festivities and just wish I could get my hands on a pinata.

After that I head over to Signal Mountain for rehearsal with our worship group. We're working on a recording of about 12 songs, hymns that Eric has re-written. We're also leading worship for a conference next weekend, so we may run through some of that. Eric asked me to listen to a new song and re-write some of it; I really like it, and think I can hear a chorus in there somewhere. It's fun to work with other musicians.

Of course, the biggest commitment this week is to Clothesline. We had a brief mention in the Arts section of the paper yesterday, and the weekend is coming quickly. I need to get all of my frames clean and ready to hang, and go buy ribbon and put all of my note cards in sets. I'm going to double-check my mats, too, and make sure there aren't any that need to be replaced. This is art week on two fronts--my work also goes up at the Bill Shores Gallery today, so when Lily wakes up from her morning nap we'll be heading over there. I think I'll take a stack of Clothesline cards with me, too. It's exciting and busy, and I hope it is all worth it.

Just doing it is worth it.

Sunday

I missed church this morning, allowing Miss Lily about a three hour nap. I'm glad she slept; her fever broke last night and she is finally her cheery little self again. Hopefully the ear infection will clear up soon. I spent some time reading my daily verses that come to my in-box...right now I'm at the end of the Psalms in the OT. So beautiful. I loved Psalm 145 about one generation telling another about the Lord's work and his power:

5 They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.

6 They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.

7 They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

I like how it goes back and forth: one generation speaks of the splendor of the Lord's majesty, and the other meditates on His works. One tells of His power, and the other proclaims His deeds. I wonder which is which--who is the younger generation? Do they tell the story of God's works, or are they the ones moved to consider His majesty and power as a result of hearing about what God did for the older generation? It makes me aware of how essential it is for me to share with Lily, and soon with Jack, what the Lord has done for us.

The other day I overheard Joel telling Lily that the Lord made kittens. I'm not sure what prompted this discussion, but it makes me glad that she will grow up knowing Who to thank for kittens.

Saturday

I have reached the milestone of my third trimester, and realized today that I am seven months along now. I certainly feel like I'm beginning my seventh month, since the floor seems increasingly far away and it's harder to carry Lilybug around. The fact that James is in a cocoon the size of a soccer ball explains some of it. He's very active, kicking and moving around. It's hard to believe that in just twelve weeks or so we'll be holding him and playing with him. Seeing the crib set up in his room makes it all the more real!

Friday

I've been blogging for a few years now, but my blog has always centered around pictures. I thought maybe I'd start blogging a few words.

It's early, and the sun is coming up. Everything outside is green, and I hear the birds, who have been up for hours. I was up earlier than usual, and spent some time reading the Scripture that comes to my in-box. I'll admit, after struggling to find a consistent reading pattern, having a link delivered to me that provides readings for the day has done the trick. I highly recommend it.

This morning I finished off the gospel of John, which is beautiful. There is something about the thought of Jesus on the lake shore in the morning eating fish with his disciples...I can almost see them. His three-fold question to Peter: Do you love me? Giving Peter the opportunity to recant his three-fold denial. The thought of the whole world filled with books had God decided to have every detail of Christ's life recorded...for indeed, it would be a story that began before time and has no ending.

I'm also reading Collin Hansen's Young, Restless, Reformed, in which the author travels the country speaking with a variety of leaders whom he dubs "the New Calvinists." What strikes me particularly is the breadth of folks who are attracted to reformed theology. A lot of them would avoid the term "Calvinist" in the same way others have shunned denominational labels. But they delight in the doctrines of grace and find that their emphasis on theology and mercy and the deep study of Scripture attracts a group turned off by slick evangelicalism. I can appreciate that. It makes me excited about the fall and opportunities that lay before us with college ministry.